The Wonders of Winry's Body
by fatalxbeautee
Summary: Ed finally realizes how much of woman Winry is. With a little help from Mustang, of course.


A/N: This is the first of four one-shots which may or may not be written (very) gradually. Though this one is humorous, I know that the last one won't be if I decide to write it. I mean, it will, but it'll be more mature, too.

For sure. Thanks for reading and please read and review.

-

There were days in Resembool when there was nothing to do but lie around and sleep. When you couldn't sleep, you would sit around and watch other people sleep. If those other people weren't sleeping, you'd follow and stare restlessly at them and get your entertainment that way.

Edward Elric was experiencing one of those days.

After doing the first two options (didn't last very long), he ended up trying the third. His victim: Winry Rockbell, his auto mail mechanic.

Ever since he woke up and found no one in slumber he'd been stalking her, staring at her, and making sarcastic comments every chance he got. Needless to say, by noon she was extremely irritated and just about ready to bash him with her wrench.

She was currently working on a new customer's metal arm and would have been enjoying it much more if she hadn't felt Ed's quite exasperating gaze on her back.

"Something bothering you, Winry?" he smirked when he saw her twitch angrily. It was so easy –and fun- to annoy her, and all he had to do was keep his eyes open and in her direction.

She faced him, "Yes, in fact I seem to be looking right at him." She stalked off toward the kitchen, her growling stomach making her aware of her hunger.

Ed snickered as he trailed after her.

He furrowed his brows and put on a confused expression, "Really... Wait! You were looking at me! I haven't done anything!"

That was exactly what was pissing her off! He should be doing something useful!

Ed though, was very much enjoying the look of irritation on her face.

She ignored his joyfulness at her annoyance and walked towards the fridge for some much needed food.

Ed sat down quietly at the table as Winry bent over to search the fridge more thoroughly. Therefore, Ed, no longer able to gaze directly at her back without bending over himself, moved his gaze lower… which just happened to remind him about the conversation he'd had with the colonel the last time he'd been at Headquarters. It was, specifically, about "The Wonders of the Female Body".

According to Mustang, the ass was one of them. I'm sure there's no need to mention that Edward's face was abnormally red since the word female was mentioned.

"You see Ed, that particular feature doesn't appeal to all men, but to the men it does… it is mighty fine; only, of course, if structured correctly. Not every behind is worthy of being stared at, slapped, or given a good pinch. Especially if its not there," here he laughed, adding a few choice words Ed was too sickened of to want to recall.

He managed to remember the description, though.

"You see FullMetal, every ass has good qualities, but for it to be perfect it can't be too big or too small, too square or too round, and if it isn't perky enough it's no good at all. Now, about the other wonderful wonders of the female body…"

Of course, he had proceeded to talk about the legs, chest, and… err… the **other** area.

How that topic of conversation came up he wasn't entirely sure, but when he left that office he was a very conspicuous shade of tomato red.

He was no where near as to being positive why, but her ass seemed extremely appealing.

It seemed to fit Mustang's criteria. Round, but not too round, not in the least bit square, and, well, it was very nicely sized. He continued gawking, contemplating how the hell it happened to be such a turn on.

-

It had taken a few minutes but she finally found the cheese!

Still in her bended position, she turned her head to look at Ed. What she saw gave her the biggest shock of her life. Ed was almost drooling, honey-melted gaze on her a… bu… she couldn't even think she was so surprised! She turned to look at the fridge and blinked a few dozen times before turning back to look at Ed again.

Still looking.

It was unbelievable! Edward Elric, the FullMetal Alchemist, who might as well be gay for all the interest he'd shown in the opposite sex, was staring at her ass.

'Wait a minute!' she thought, turning red faced from anger, 'he's staring at my ass! The nerve of that little shrimp!'

She stood up straight (but not before putting the cheese back), shaking Ed out of his reverie.

There was a tense moment of silence before, very much like this morning, she turned around slowly to face him. Winry was _furious._

He gulped…

Seems he was staring a little **_too_** long.

-

_Special Thanks: To all three of my friends and temporary betas who bothered to read this, tell me what they thought, for catching mistakes, and (Lindsey)for helping me with the title._

Please review! I'll give you a cookie!


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